Security Survivor
747 and I were discussing this the other day, and I think we may have something here. What do you all think about modeling library security after the survivor show? This would help us phase out the weaker links among us. At the end of every semester, we'd hold a ceremony (maybe we could have it in Special Collections complete with tiki torches and bonfire) where we vote someone off the division. We'd be sure to invite Brother Groberg with a special "Security at the other side of Heaven" fireside.
During the semester, we could award points for certain tasks [200 points for approaching someone not wearing pants in the map section, 600 points for hiding/using all the security belts in the control room, -70 points for calling a woman "sir" at the desk, -100 points for eating a burger at the desk, etc.] The person with the most points would be exempt from dismissal at the end.
Strategery would definitely come into play here. It would behoove someone to make certain alliances, take notes, etc.
AND JOHN WAYNE IS THE MOST MANLY MAN I HAVE EVER HEARED OF! I just wanted you to know this.
posted by hub huxtable @ 9:35:00 AM
32 Comments:
Oooh, that sounds amazing. I'd offer to burn the next person who stole the belts...they were all gone when I came on again tonight...
As probably the only Library Security Officer that actually watches the TV show Survivor on a regular basis (my pick, Jonathan has SERIOUSLY ticked off everybody), I think this is a great idea!
And exile island (where they send people to punish them, it's like solitary) could be the exhibit in Special Collections or the West Desk. . .with NO INTERNET!! :O
I'd probably vote off 709 first. (For slacking on chexits)
I am allying with 717, 707, 738, 705, 721, 739, 740, 743, and any others who want to reap the benefits of my manipulation of the point system. And 717, you can keep the belt.
I've figured out how I can eat a hamburger at the desk at least once a week and still have too many point to count.
To Kurt:
Actually everyone knows I don't type well, Joel doesn't even know its me if I don't average a typo or two per sentense...or is it centense. Awe man, your right...oh well at least I have a billion imaginary points for a game that doesn't exist and only you are deluded into thinking it matters or even into thinking that you know who I am.
But I really continue to write to keep Doug laughing on at this apparently never ending joke (as well as a never ending sentence) that was started out of a conversation we had last Tuesday and actually means nothing...laugh away Doug, laugh away (I'm there with you buddy).
You may wonder WHERE 747 gets his billions upon billions of points!
He gets them from me, the banker. There's got to be one in every game anyway.
So I must ask you . . . Deal or no deal?
And you all thought an alliance with me was important...SNAP!
By the way I LOVE 707's picture of the Duke...it is so cool. I would change from Mr. T to "The Duke" if I could have that picture. Oh well, we can't all be great fans of such a cool guy.
By the way Rooster, is that picture from True Grit or Rooster Cogburn (for those who don't know he played the old rusty marshal in both movies).
Stupid Iowa fact: John Wayne was born in Winterset, Iowa...If you are driving down I-80 there is even a sign that directs you to his birth place...weird huh?
I don't think most of us have to worry about anything. I saw the way 747 was eyeing Jeff's desk. This might be the first and last semester for the new boss.
Dang it, you saw that? Oh well, who can blame me? Jeff's office is just over 100 square feet of personal space, a large desk and a wicked awesome wood chair. I could do some serious upgrades to the computer and put a projector in their. I would get a bigger fridge and maybe I would let me wife come in and put some soothing window treatments up just to give it that home away from home feel.
Then we would have lunches in there and talk about me (apparently my most favorite topic; however I am not sure how I am different because everyone seems to talk about themselves or how they relate to the topic at hand)and my new office.
And don't leave out Jeff's wicked sweet speaker. Have you people even seen it? I love to go in there and turn it on and off when Jeff's not in.
PS. I pretty sure it's from True Grit. And did you know his birth name was Marion Robert Morrison? Crazy but true!
If 747 gets Jeff's desk, I call the desk on the east side of the control room and the shelf above it (drugs and ear soft blasts included)
Whoah!! Easy there Turbo! I'll have you know that I didn't use said "Databasi" to obtain my information. I got that tidbit over ten years ago from a book. Yes, I know, it's hard to believe - but I can actually recall what I read . . . on condition that it's not required reading for a class; otherwise I don't remember squat!
John Wayne was a pansy!!
(Help me, please! 723 made me say that by having his desk fan club (all 26 of them) hold me down and he has his phone up to my ear and it's playing the Top Gun song really, really loud!! Help me!!)
All I know is that I watched my first John Wayne movie about a month ago and I wanted to shoot myself in the face. Not only was it about 2 hours too long, but it had a lot of those "gee mister that would be swell!" moments.
Apparently you miss the idiosyncrasies (I double checked the spelling-otherwise I couldn't have done that one) that the Duke opitomizes (I didn't look that one up). I think you need to respect him for who he is not the lines writers gave him.
I think you just hate actors...THATS UNAMERICAN!
I like plenty of actors/actresses: Jessica Simpson, Steven Seagall, Val Kilmer (great in the "Saint"), that one guy that plays Anakin Skywalker, Orrin Hatch, and the entire cast of the Book of Mormon Movie.
If any of those actors were in a John Wayne movie they would be the ones saying "gee mister that would be swell" just before the Duke showed them his fists and make the movie better by making them shut up the rest of the movie.
Nobody else commands that sort of respect in Hollywood, nowadays you have to shoot them to keep people from talking.
(I JUST WROTE THE 20TH COMMENT, THIS IS A MILESTONE)
Obviously, a fist to the face is in order, then, Mister "I'm-Mister-Twenty".
Ummmm.....Marion is a girl's name. Maybe the Duke really was a pansy after all.
H-E-L-L-O! That's why they made him change his name!They were like "Dude, you're WAY to manly to be named Marion. We're going to have to call you John."
You are all just mad that you didn't get to write the 20th comment, if you would check this more often maybe you could have done it...loser!
And with the name thing...lets look at all of the men you have ever met that you could call manly...Hulk Hogan, He-Man, and several but not all of the GI Joes. They were such manly men that they could get away with wearing a pink shirt or flowery boxers or sox with more color in them than just white and grey.
The point is...manly men can do anything they want and John Wayne was so manly that at the begining of his life he could have an unmanly name. The only people dumb enough to say anything were promptly shut up. Out of necessity he had to change his name to John in order to avoid having to punch everyone.
I SOLUTE YOU JOHN WAYNE...MANLY MAN!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
You know, you might be right again, Dave. Looks like a punch might not serve it's purpose. Perhaps a shotgun would work.
These comments remind me of a story told to me by a dear friend of mine. It goes along something like this here:
My daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to ma and me
Just this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze.
Now, I don't blame him cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me "Sue."
Well, he must o' thought that is
quite a joke
And it got a lot of laughs from a' lots of folk,
It seems I had to fight my whole life through.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head,
I tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named "Sue."
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up
mean,
My fist got hard and my wits got keen,
I'd roam from town to town to hide my shame.
But I made a vow to the moon and stars
That I'd search the honky-tonks and bars
And kill that man who gave me that awful name.
Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry,
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew.
At an old saloon on a street of mud,
There at a table, dealing stud,
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me "Sue."
Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother'd had,
And I knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye.
He was big and bent and gray and old,
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said: "My name is 'Sue!' How do you do!
Now your gonna die!!"
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise,
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear.
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a' gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer.
I tell ya, I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when,
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile.
I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss,
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first,
He stood there lookin' at me and I saw him smile.
And he said: "Son,
this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's the name that helped to make you strong."
He said: "Now you just fought one
hell of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got
the right
To kill me now, and I wouldn't blame you if you do.
But ya ought to thank me, before I die,
For the gravel in ya guts and the spit in ya eye
Cause I'm the son-of-a-b@*%# that named you "Sue.'"
I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
And I called him my pa, and he called me his son,
And I came away with a different point of view.
And I think about him, now and then,
Every time I try and every time I win,
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Sue! I still hate that name!
P.S. That's GOTTA set a new record for longest post!
No, I'm big and tough, AND named Rooster.
AND I'm the 30th Comment - West Desk HISTORY Baby!
Where's that durn shotgun? I mean, really now.
You couldn't hold a shotgun if you had one.
By the way, I think Joe missed the point of the story...lets not let names get in the way. Its is known by a lot of people and I have it on very good authority that the Duke is one of the thoughest most manly men period. And you Joe just happen to wish you were him.
by the way I like even numbers and multiples of five so here is the 32nd comment.
What if instead of "Security Survivor" we did a take off of the Office and called it The Control Room.
I think we could pull off a pretty good sitcom!
I better make this the 34th comment so Mr. T. doesn't freak out
Hey, I just noticed someone added a line on the end of my post. Well, all I have to say is bull honkey to that! Manly like a fox!
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