The joys of anaphylaxis

Yeah, y'know that feeling deep down inside? That stomach-churning, airway-constricting, finger-swelling, itchy feeling?

Me too.

It's called anaphylaxis, that happy feeling that makes you swell up like Martin Short on "Pure Luck."

On Saturday night I experienced that all-too-familiar feeling. I was getting ready to march down to the stadium for the Homecoming game when I decided that I would need to go to the ER instead. Lips throbbing, pulse racing, hives creeping up my face, and my airways slowly sealing shut.

I have allergies to other foods, so I was frantically thinking if I had consumed any in the last few hours. Then I remembered: a big bowl of salad with walnuts in it.

I had contracted an allergy to the all-American nut that is in EVERYTHING.

So I spent the next hour in the hospital, lying on a paper-covered cot in full band uniform, swimming on a sea of Benadryl and Epinephrine. The doctor asked me if I was going to the game and I pointed to the stripe running down my uniform pants and said groggily, "I'm IN the game."

The conclusion to this story is that I marched the halftime show at the football game in my drug-induced state, then went to bed for 12 hours.

And I've sworn off walnuts for the rest of this frail existence.

THE END