Lay off the bottle, Uncle Ben.

That's a reference to one of those scary Mormon guilt-you-into-doing-the-right-thing films, in case you don't know.

And, along those lines, I now exort all my brothers and sisters of the blue blazer to NOT SEND MY DADGUM WATER BOTTLE TO THE LOST AND FOUND EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I successfully rescued my hip Nalgene water bottle from the Wilk Lost and Found this morning, much to my chagrin that it was there in the first place.

So next time you see that light green Nalgene wandering around the control room or on one of the desks, it will read "I'M NOT LOST. I HAVE A HOME." in block capitals. Because obviously my full name spelled out on the bottom wasn't enough to keep it from being sent to the orphanage...