Opening Anouncement

This is the first semester that I've had an opening shift and I have found it very sad to see so many lowly students anxiously awaiting the opening of the doors so they can get their study on before the rooster crows. In my personal opinion, studying should by no means start so early- you know what they say, "Whenever you get to bed, not early to rise" or something like that.
Anyhow, to deter students from this inappropriate behavior, I propose that we make an opening announcement. Perhaps it could go something like this,

*bee boo* "(in the voice of a monkey from monk-e-mail, probably Paul) May I have your attention, it is now 7 o'clock. The library is now open and all library patrons are officially losers, please go home and go back to bed immediately. Thank you."

or,
*bee boo* "May I have your attention (still Paul), Jack Bauer just called with some urgent information and the library has been put on high Nerd Alert, all library patrons need to exit immediately."

The possibilities are endless really, but I don't know if LAO will go for it.

Lights Out! Guerilla Radio!

This is just your friendly reminder to USE THE CONTROL ROOM RADIO WHEN YOU ARE IN CONTROL!!

Why? Well here are some reasons:

1. Because -- I said so.

2. It'll save your "personal" radio's batteries -- heaven knows I hate it when it starts doing that "low battery" beeping.

3. It will help you find love -- people love efficiency.

4. It will prevent feedback -- yes, that's the terrible squealing sound that comes when you use multiple radios close together. It bugs those on duty and it bugs dispatch.

5.It will save the ozone layer and prevent global warming -- it uses less chemical energy.

6. We need to have the control radio at full volume for the control room -- when you turn it down so you can use your radio you're not helping the person who comes after you and doesn't know you turned it down.

I'm sure there's more, but I'll stop there.

That and I don't think those that need to read this post actually will.

A Helpmeet for 709

Disclaimer: 709 didn't put me up to this, but I think he will be glad if and when he sees results.

This post was inspired by a late night screening of Jurassic Park and a conversation I recently had with 709. We were sitting in the control room late one night when he (suddenly, and without warning) started talking about his dating life, and about his wish to court many of the "daughters of Zion" that work here in the division. Basically the gist of his message was that he had a huge crush on all unmarried female security officers (his so called "cousin" included) and wanted to know how to get their attention. I gave him a few insights such as stamping books correctly, sideburns, aftershave, etc. His chin quivered a little bit when he was telling me this. He called himself a son of Helaman.

Interestingly, 709 has been insistent that only female security guards will do. I've often wondered if he is just drawn to girls in uniform; he hasn't been quite the same since he quit coaching girls’ high school tennis last year.

So I guess this is just a plea to all of the unmarried female officers out there. Just please go out of your way to make 709 feel special. If you're interested, start picking up what he's putting down. If not, give him a little encouragement: laugh at his jokes, wink across desks, side hugs, slap hands, etc. Basically I would just like to stop that quiver in 709's chin once and for all.

Chexits aint gonna check themselves.

If you need a perminant shift off

The rules don't change if you need a perminant shift off. If you definitly can't fill it anymore you are responsible for it until one of the following happens.

1. You talked to Jeff before he left and everything has been worked out.
2. You talked to Matt and everything has been worked out between you both.
3. You found someone to take the shift.

Understanding that Matt is out of town you are thereby responsible for the shift until 2 or 3 above has been taken care of.

If you need to take it off immediately you must then continue to find someone to cover it each week until you can talk to Matt.

This is not a change from the way it has been in the past...the only difference is now you go to Matt instead of Jeff.

So cover you shifts or get them covered...except for Thacker on the 12th of January...go get married man!