Ahhh....the irony.

So, I got a haircut the other day and cut bangs in my hair. I haven't had bangs since I was in 4th grade, and when I had them then, it was a gruesome experience. Let's just say "girly bowl cut" right out and get it over with...we're all friends, right?

Anyhoo, I was walking into the SWKT to partake of a vending machine when a gust of wind blew my bangs into my eyes.

Whoosh.

In the same instant, I spotted a moderately cute guy walking toward me on the sidewalk. Being a girl, I made a ploy to toss my bangs back (Pantene Pro-V style) with a graceful sweep of my head.

The head motion that ensued was so violent that it disturbed the equilibrium of my inner ear and I stumbled over my own feet. When I recovered myself, the guy shot me a slightly concerned look and walked past.

I laughed at myself all the way to class.

Then, when I got to the West Desk for rotation, I realized that my fly was down, and that it had been down for the last three hours.

Ahhh...the irony.

THE END.

watch your back

I see too many radios just sitting on the desk-- you should have them on you.

I see too many key pegs just sitting out... or in unlocked lockers. You should secure them.

If people aren't careful, stuff might start to disappear... then you'll be really embarrassed.

Buzzer Beaters

So, I decided since I'm actually working on the west desk for the first time in a month or so, I ought to contribute something on this snowy afternoon. So here is this weeks sports beat with Stokes:
So, I've been watching a lot of basketball lately - (GO PHOENIX SUNS!) and I am enfatuated with the whole concept of "buzzer beaters" - they're wicked awesome. Maybe it was the fact that I saw like 4 of them in last night's games alone, but I think they're cool, but if you're on the losing end - man, they suck.
Ex 1 - Last night the Heat were playing the defending champion Pistons, scoring a shot with 9 seconds left- thinking they had it won, but never fear - Rip Hamilton gets the inbounds pass from Tayshaun and scores it over Shaq for the win! Thats the good scenario (shaq sucks by the way).
Ex 2 - I watched the Jazz game the other night - they were losing to the hornets (a winless team) for most of the game, came back, and had 2 free throws that would have won the game (which were missed) and then a wide open 20 footer that was missed - and that bit hard - especially since they retired John Stockton's jersey last night.
On another sad note, BYU had no chance of getting close to winning their game against North Carolina on a buzzer beater. Is it just me, or did that whole game look like the first 5 minutes of the championship game from "Hoosiers"? - the black guys that are faster, stronger and can jump higher against the white boys who are obviously over-matched, but atleast we can beat those tough Division II teams.
On a good note, the Phoenix Suns have regained their energetic, enthusiastic play that has been missing since Charles Barkley left, and suddenly basketball is alive in Phoenix again. Nobody can stop Nash-Marion-Staudemire-Johnson-Richardson - look for this team to be a big time contender - despite their lack of a big man. Go SUNS!

1, 2, 3....um...14

Since I've heard this one song about 5 billion times in the last 2 weeks, I'm beginning to question where I'm living...the planet Earth, or "Vertigo"? And I don't even know where or what Vertigo is, or what any of those lyrics about it mean. But it sounds like a pretty cool place, y'know, it gives me something I can feel, can feeeeeeeeeeeel. And I think I want to buy an iPod now too, I think I'll pay 80 bucks more to get one with a bunch of scribbles on the back of it. Cause that rocks hard, yeah. Yeah yeah yeah YEAH!

Silver Lining

Well our beloved Cougars lost, so no Las Vegas Bowl game for us. It would've been so sweet to pull the upset over the Uteses. But, let's look on the bright side:

(1) Utah will share some of that $15 million from the Fiesta Bowl with us and the rest of the MWC,
(2) The men's basketball teams begins their season in just 2 days, and
(3) (If we're lucky) a new head football coach is on the way.

Oh, Let Me Count The Ways...

West, I love you. I worship you. But sometimes I'd rather be doing something else... ok, anything else. Run for president, give every Tuesday devotional, visit every climb, penetrate every continent, sound in every ear, bowl a 300, shoot 8 under par, obtain a BCS bid, become a Harry Potter character, replace Gary Crowton, squeegee skyscraper windows, undermine coup d'etatses, sell out Carnegie Hall, quash midget rebellions, anchor the tug-of-war, send text messages, harness cold fusion, floss thrice daily, cut paper snowflakes, dominate wheel chair basketball, eat shrimp fried rice, shoe horses, reap the sown, fell trees, water fake house plants, dispose of rechargable batteries properly, investigate illegal window tintings, diagnose carpal-tunnel syndrome, enjoy a cool refreshing Pepsi, pluck rampant unibrows, chant mantras, make dashboard confessionals, get a Brazilian wax, sun jaudice, spoon under water, annul hasty Vegas weddings, rebuke butt-less chaps, bombard obstreperous sugar gliders, repeatedly throw up dog food...

Dern Book-Learned Folk

I love the smell of custodial's industrial-strength Windex in the early morning as much as the next man, but from now on I'm not coming in to open the library until noon. I've watched too many college students roll into our hallowed HBL of L at the butt-crack of dawn to study, well, their butt cracks off, really, and they're beating the sheezie out of me academically. As I sit and watch these brainiacs waltz in for pre-dawn preparation to nuke my GPA, my only consolation comes from the certainty that none of them have a clue as to what it's like to be kissed by a woman under 50.

Perhaps my day needs a scholarly shot in the arm. I tried to read yesterday's Daily Herald but never advanced beyond the intriguing headline "Bush taps Rice." Sure, if he wants to, I guess. Hadn't pegged her as his type but then again I've yet to peg anyone as mine either. Touché.

So the newspaper is out. Time to wait for someone to turn in a copy of Mommy, Mommy, What's The Potty For? The Juvenile section poses a challenge closer to my current abilities, plus I would undoubtedly find it an informative read. Aw forget it. I'm aiming for even smaller goals. Baby steps, like learning to stamp a few books between the lines. What? The stamp has to be right-side-up too? Shoot me.

Now That's a Fun Call

Just Rovin' along mindin' my own business when I noticed that I couldn't find the library resident homeless guy. I left him in the reading room on the third floor but, after checking up on his whereabouts he was gone. So I go on a search and after looking behind every book I decided to check the mens bathroom on the third floor. I open the door and staring me in the face is an advertisment for a bronco posted right over the sign that tells patrons about the wonderful rule of no posting advertisments in the bathrooms.

Now I know what you are thinking....who the heck would buy a bronco...you spend $5,000 getting it and three times that much keeping it running for the first year.

Well anyway I removed the advertisment and called the number...here is how it went:

ME: Is this (name of the person selling, we'll call him Bevis)?
BEVIS: Yea this is him.
ME: I saw that you are selling your Bronco.
BEVIS: Yea, yea...
ME: I saw the advertisment in the bathroom at the library...
BEVIS: Yea thats it...
ME: Well this is library security and we would like it if you didn't do that again...
BEVIS: Yea...um...ok........
ME: Thanks a lot (hang up)

Now I bet he'll think twice before he does that again...that's what I call a fun phone call.

THE FOOD TSAR STRIKES BACK

So some may be wondering..."why did that jerk of a food tsar not get more food...and who the heck can drink hot chocolate without cups...what a jerk." If you are thinking this I would suggest you come up with a better insult than jerk. And to appease your ever inquisitive mind I will explain the cause of the food situation or the lack thereof.

Last time food was purchased it was estimated that if we sold everything we had we would have 60 George Washington's (or12 Abe Lincoln's which ever you prefer) to buy more food with. Yea for us. Well that little dream was crushed when after we sold everything but $2.50 worth of apple sauce all that was left in the jar was $26. 42. This is odd for several reasons. First, if everyone purchased things for the correct amount I very much doubt that there would be 42 cents following the 26 dollars...it just doesn't add up. Secondly, one has said that they placed two five dollar bills in the jar and when it was counted we only had one. Finally, even if everyone that uses the food in the locker room took something with intention to pay and then forgot, I very much doubt that over thirty dollars would be missing.

I suggest these reasons for the lack of money...
1. Some of the security staff misunderstood and thought that the food was free.
2. Some took with intention of paying and forgot how much money they owed.
3. Some took paying only part of it feeling that they would make it up at some future time.
4. Some people can't count or don't understand the value of some currency.
5. We have someone who is an exception to all rules and is humble enough to work even with us.
6. Someone owes money to thier cousin VINNY who is also a loan shark named Spike and in which case keep the money we are glad we could help you keep you thumbs, neck, nose or life...what ever it was that you put down as collateral.
7. Aliens from planet GUBRATERK came and took the money so they could try out the worlds real mysteries...like why people still go to McDonalds.

I AM NOT ACCUSING ANYONE OF STEALING...let me repeat...I AM NOT ACCUSING ANYONE OF STEALING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only time I have even condidered that is when I thought of the custodial staff cleaning the locker room or bathroom. But I still doubt this possibility.

I think it is mostly due to neglect on everyones part and so if anyone has any explanation or any ideas as to how to prevent this from continuing let me, 748, or Jeff know. Otherwise we can count on not having this available in the very near future.

I hope that this didn't sound too harsh or accusitive but I am trying to make sure this is fair for everyone involved, and I don't intend to make anyone angry in any way.

Thankyou!

Don't Mute The Damn Speaker

Don't mute the speaker at West... unless you're talking to, like, a really hot babe or something. No reason to let some minute "security" issue get in the way of what quite possibly could become eternal marriage and exaltation.

Is the power of the blazer enough?

I have a pressing question. We've already established that blue blazers get chicks.

I also understand that the be-blazered girls behind the desk are few, but is the power of the blue blazer enough to get guys?

Comments are welcome.