A Blast from the Past!

2004-09-29

Top 10 Most Overused Words at BYU

10. Heck
9. "Honor Code"
8. Cool
7. Engaged
6. Married
5. Fetch (or some derivative therefrom)
4. Prideful
3. "Sweet Spirit"
2. Awesome
1. NCMO
Honorable Mention: Random (thanks for pointing that out, Laulau)

Next week's entry: The MLB Season in review and a postseason preview (and congrats to Ichiro).

2004-09-22

It doesn't mean you love each other less

People please, for the love of pete, just break hands when walking through the 3M's. To the guy: Dude, don't subject your poor short girlfriend to standing on her tiptoes just to hold your hand over the 3M. To the girl: Don't think that somehow he likes you less now and is gonna go after your best friend just because he wasn't holding your hand 24/7. And to both of you: It just looks stupid.

(Now watch I bet I'll become one of those people and be forced to eat my words...the irony)

Blue Blizazers Get Chicks

Word, Former 786. Life at Library Security never gets more silky and smooth than one's Blue Blazer which, my friend, is friggin silky and filthy smooth. That's why I was so confused when I first donned my Blue Blazer at the beginning of the semester. Sure, it had retained its silky-muh-smoothness and, apart from a little cinnamony overflow from the bathroom, still exuded manly musk. Yet something was different, indeed, nigh unto awry. Halfway through my rove I finally realized what was going on. Turns out 718 and two patrons had buttoned themselves up inside my Blue Blazer along with me. Seriously, chicks dig the things.

2004-10-13

the Bluecoats

Saurus and the former 786 have summed it up perfectly: chicks love the blue blazers. I once heard someone refer to the library security guards as the sex symbol of BYU - can i say sex symbol at byu? Anyways, there have been numerous requests for a library security calendar - I think we should look into this - can't you all just see Scott on the cover lookin all bad - those things would sell faster than the "fire crowton" t-shirts. But, yes, Chicks love the blue blazer and its freakin smooth to ask out the ladies with it on. word. Blue blazers are part of the "skills" - girls only want boyfriends with good skills.

Jamba Juice Makes People Stupid

I have recently been informed that there is a conspiracy in which Jamba Juice is acctually responcible for stupidity. I recieved the lowdown from Cal Ripkin Jr. in a dream I had after eating a chicken taco I found at the back of my friends refrigetator. Of course I told Cal exactly what I am about to tell you..."duh." Of course it does. Just look at the number of people who walk into the library with a tall glass of the stuff wrapped in their hands. They forget to read the "NO FOOD" signs and even refuse to heed the common sence of just not having food in a library. The next point is that more and more people continually ask if they return books at the dest. Well I guess the black and white signs reading "Return Books Here" might be too small. Or perhaps a better explanation is that Jamba Juice is making them too stupid to read!

Though, other than testimony from Cal I really don't have any proof. However, I would like to consider a fly (just bare with me). I like to think of a fly as a pretty stupid creature. Heck anything that would get itself stuck in fly-tape has to be! Now a fly and a stupid person has a lot in common. For example they both like Jamba Juice, and the list goes on and on...

So what do I suggest we do...heck if I know, Cal didn't tell me anything about that. So I guess I better go get something to eat before my test... I wonder if Jamba Juice is open.

It's Time to Blacklist People

Joseph McCarthy did it, why can't I?

Really what it boils down to is that this thing is for HBLL Security. So lets make it exclusive. I want everyone who is part of library security to email me thier west desk identities by Wednesday and I will block all others. Have a great day!

Patriotic Tardiness

Which is better: to be on time or to be patriotic?

As I was walking to work today (around 5:30) the national anthem began to play and I fell into a dilemma: do I keep walking and look like a jerk (or Canadian - same thing) or do I stop, put my hand over my heart and be late? Decisions, decisions.

In the end, I walked with my hand over my heart (looking (and feeling)) like a jerk and I was still a minute or two late to work. *sigh*

Calling all neckties

Hi, boys and girls. I'm wanting to make a skirt out of old ties, so if you have any nasty ol' mission neckties or the wide polyester monsters from your dad's era, send them my way.

Okay? Okay.

Ahoy, mateys! This is your cap'n speaking!

Yar! You all have permission ta talk like pirates today, mateys! It's national Talk Like a Pirate Day today!

May your waters forever be tasty

The document entitled "Tasty Waters" is now available for your perusal. This document is based on the presentation given in the last training meeting. A copy is found in my personal folder. If any of you would like to make a copy, feel free. May your palates forever be moist with tasty waters.

Anti-Theft Team Report

From now on if I have anything concerning Anti-Theft Team business I will post it under this title. Be sure to read it. NOT HAVING READ IT WILL NOT BE AN EXCUSS FOR NOT KNOWING!! Let the new people know about it and lead them to this wonder we call the West Desk. Now let us begin...

New Ripped Off cards have been made. Thanks to 746 we will now sound less threatning and more helpful when we leave these cards around the building. Apparently he knows some people whose feelings have been hurt by our past blunt approach. We still have some left over from the old ones and for the sake of not waisting feel free to pass those out until they are gone.

The theft reports are now at each desk along with some of the help cards for Rove. USE THEM OR BE ON MY BLACK LIST!!! We need this information. It is vital to help us limit the number of thefts in the library. Please do not shoot us in the foot...do all you can to follow these new procedures.

We are now using the magnets on the maps located IN YOUR FACE on the white board. If magnet is on the map...DO NOT MOVE IT!!! They are not your play thing! So again...DO NOT MOVE IT!!!

I know I always sound like I am talking down to people but that is not my intention. I am actually just bad at explaining myself so I have over come it by being so clear its blinding at times. Other times I am still pretty foggy and so I'm still trying to find that nice middle ground.

Anyway, thank you for your help in all of these things. Your support is needed and noted.

You've RUINED me!!!

So last night I was closing after the training meeting. I swiped out of Kronos, put my ID card back in my wallet, and leaned over the drinking fountain...

...only to recoil in terror, remembering Mr. T's horrific tale of the kid who put his mouth on the spout. I booked it out of the HBLL as fast as I could.

Hub, Rooster, Mr. T...you have ruined me and my affiliation with that particular drinking fountain.

Curse you.

We're at Training Meeting!!

Where are you?

THE MAPS ON THE WHITE BOARD!

If you are wondering what the maps are doing on the white board just wait until the meeting on the 14th and all will be revealed. Until them get to know them and be familiar with the building. They are going to be a part of something that will change the way we rove and do control...(hint: they may be more work than East by the time the month is out).