It Ain't Rocket Science

What is with the stacking of books lately? It seems people either a) don't know, b) don't care, or c) are too busy playing worms/dying from heatstroke. People have been stacking books all on one side of the cart making it awkward and lopsided to turn around and/or move. This is wrong.

People have also been just throwing ALL of the books on top of the cart and just letting the next person stack them onto the shelves. This is also wrong.

This is the correct way to stack books onto the carts: Stack the top shelf first. If the book doesn't fit in the top shelf, give the bottom shelf a try (sometimes they're different sizes). If it is an irregular-shaped/no-call-number-on-the-side book and/or damaged book, THEN you stack it on the top of the cart (just in a pile until it gets pretty full).

When the two shelves are full, you turn the cart around and fill up the other two shelves. THEN you start to arrange books on the top of the cart. Only then.

And don't forget to fill out a slip and call Circ. If you chat with them a bit instead of just asking for a cart, they usually will get the empty cart to you quicker.

Blast from the Past

So there hasn’t been much written and so I thought I would do a recap of some old posts. These are not my favorite or the best, but just a few that gave me a smile for whatever reason. I’ll probably do this again later so if you have any favorites just keep reading and they might find their way into this segment I call “Blast from the Past.”

people who don't pay me for the new food stuff suck

$2 of your hard-earned lucre should be mine, and if you don't give me that cash you will forever be on the poop list.
That's right, the poop list. It's up on the fridge.
Pay me.
Now.

I love you all.

o. . .whaddya do?

I like people. I like talking to people. I like it when people come and talk to me at the desk. (Also, if I type the word "people" enough times, it starts to look weird to me.) But when friends (or acquaintances) (or people) come up and talk to you at the desk, but they stay too long, what do you do? It's awkward to say, "Hey, sorry, I can't talk to you anymore, I've got to. . .sit here. . .and watch people. . .uh. . .yeah. . ." There's no easy way out. It's just awkward.

I mean, some people just don't get it that we're not here for them to talk to. We have a job to do, people, even if it doesn't look like we're doing anything. So how do you get rid of them nicely? How do you get them to stop leaning on the desk, lingering, blocking the view of other, potentially dangerous people?

A Ring

So there I was just West Deskin' it and keeping my eye out for any costume totin' freaks trying to enter the library. As I was doing this normal task on that ever uneventful Friday I watched as three female patrons were leavin' the library. Deciding they were posing no threat to books, building, or myself I decided to move on and watch others who could be a little more suspicious. Just then I heared one of the patrons previously mentioned cry out "DANG, A RING." As I turned my head to see what the outburst was about I noticed she was noticing the white gold hammered ring I proudly tote on my left ring finger (and not just so I can remember which hand is my left). The patron who came about a year too late is one of many who I have sent home in complete and utter despair. Yea to the ring and the girl who gave it too me!...who I am proud to say is envied by many.

ADIO KEYING FOR DUMMIES

ol from Rove.

ahead.

ving the 2nd floor new.

4. Did you remember to close the dock?

time was that at?

teen hundred.

gone there yet, but I will.

ber the 6th floor doors, too.

4.

ister still a virgin?

ell did you just say?

egard that last message, please.

Library Security From Dispatch...

Oh, Let Me Count The Ways...

West, I love you. I worship you. But sometimes I'd rather be doing something else... ok, anything else. Run for president, give every Tuesday devotional, visit every climb, penetrate every continent, sound in every ear, bowl a 300, shoot 8 under par, obtain a BCS bid, become a Harry Potter character, replace Gary Crowton, squeegee skyscraper windows, undermine coup d'etatses, sell out Carnegie Hall, quash midget rebellions, anchor the tug-of-war, send text messages, harness cold fusion, floss thrice daily, cut paper snowflakes, dominate wheel chair basketball, eat shrimp fried rice, shoe horses, reap the sown, fell trees, water fake house plants, dispose of rechargable batteries properly, investigate illegal window tintings, diagnose carpal-tunnel syndrome, enjoy a cool refreshing Pepsi, pluck rampant unibrows, chant mantras, make dashboard confessionals, get a Brazilian wax, sun jaudice, spoon under water, annul hasty Vegas weddings, rebuke butt-less chaps, bombard obstreperous sugar gliders, repeatedly throw up dog food...

Some Books and a Man

This is a tale of a different kind, about some books and a silly guy.

Once a man came to the library, and stopped at the desk of security.

"I'm returning these books to you Mr. Security," he said. "For my name is Jim McGee."

I don't want you to return them to me, I don't want them Jim McGee.

"Would you take them in a box, would you take them with ten bucks?"

I don't want them in a box, I don't want them with ten bucks.
I don't want them returned to me, I don't want them Jim McGee.

"Would you take them with my house would you take them from my mouth?"

I wont take them or your house, I don't want them from your mouth,
you're sick, you're sick Jim McGee, get those books away from me.

"Would you take them from Halle Berry, if I said she thought you are hairy?"

I wont take them from Halle Berry, especially if she thinks I'm hairy.
I wont take them can't you see, I don't want them Jim McGee.

"Not even if I wrote in them, what if I gave them to you spitten in?"

Everyone dose that everyday, but I wont take them anyway.
I don't want them Jim McGee, I just wont take them, can't you see?
I don't want them from a box, I wont take them with ten bucks,
I wont take them or your house, and certainly not from your mouth,
I wont take them from Halle Berry even if I am hairy,
I just wont take them Jim McGee, not from you or her or anybody.

"What if I stamped them as you do, what if I stamped them all for you."

Well yes, yes I'll take them Jim McGee, I will take them certainly.

So he stamped all the books, all hundred thousand about hooks.
And ends the tale of Jim McGee and some fool security guard who should have
taken the house when it was offered.

This story has been provided for your pointless entertainment. It will now
keep you busy for hours as you wonder what I was smoking when I wrote this.
But I think it was actually due to a dream I had after eating a bowl of my
grandmothers chili.

What's that you say? YOURE A NERD!!!

I really don't understand the mind of some students. Its a holiday right now (that means no school for those of you who are still studying away) and there is a good number of people in the library. What the #%!! are they doing here right now. This is freakin crazy. I have a problem with people who are here after midnight during the fall/winter extended hours but I am just dumbfounded at the fact that people are here during a school break. And its not jsut one person its hundreds.

I'm not going to get to deep into this subject (I know I just left a few of you speachless at that comment) but I do want to suggest a course of action.

We need to get orange dot stickers and deem them "Nerd dots." Then we need to go up to everyone that is in the library after the hours of 8pm Spring/Summer and after 9 or 10pm Fall/Winter, and any time duringa break or holiday and place these stickers on their heads. Then all will know that they are nerds and treat them as the outcasts they are.

This will have wonderful contributions to society as you will be able to see who is a nerd and not a nerd yo will then know who is worth dating, being friends with and so on. This will alow the rest of us to use our time more efficiently.

There is something in your ear

Its been a while since I actually posted anything so let me take a moment to stretch out and dive in.

*moment*

OK...is it just me or is there an unusual amount of cell phone use around the atrium area...especially as people are entering or leaving. And I don't even think many of these people are even talking to anyone. Now I know that they may be listening to messages...but really why here, why now?

I think this is just a sign of the Fad that cell phones are now. It is somehow an icon of fasion thats says "I'm cool because I stuff this silver plastic thing in my ear all day."

chaos Chaos CHAOS!!!!

Holy crap! What a morning! First of all, I had to be here at 7:30, which may not seem early for some of you, but this is my summer, and 10 or 11 is my usual wake-up time. I stumbled here to work and then panic ensued.

First of all, the East Desk computer is not working very well. Every time you move the mouse, it resets. I don't know. Luckily, I've been trained in the art of "guy" and so I unplugged it, let it sit for a while and then plugged it back in. That worked. But then the keyboard wouldn't work so I had to restart the computer again and then the mouse made it restart again. It was an endless, painstaking process to get the computer to the point it is at now, but it is still being tempramental.

Then, just so you know, Workflows isn't working (neither for us nor for circulation) -- so I have no idea who has checked out what. Oh, and I contacted OIT, but they had no idea what they were talking about. So now I don't know who to call.

Then we got the construction people. They had a problem with the dock door being open, then they had a problem with the recieving door being open, then they had a problem with the elevator back door not opening (we're still working on that -- dispatch didn't know what to do there, either). So they're a constant pain.

Then we got about a thousand deacons and teachers coming in for some family history conference and every two seconds someone is asking where the auditorium is. Then, they needed to know if there was a separate room we could unlock so they could have a prayer meeting and then they had us searching for a hymn book so they could open their meeting (planning ahead, people?).

Oh, and don't forget the constant alarms going off (Instruction rooms, I'm looking at you), the malfunctioning radios and having to work with 739 and 707!!!!

What a morning!!

*Sigh* I wish Scott were still here.

Speaking of Seconds

Hey,

Just in case some of you missed the action today, we had two. . .count 'em, TWO fire alarms this morning/afternoon. All within two hours of each other.

I'd like to thank E-Raz for his fearless leadership, Shauna for her plain-clothes help (she got an extra shift out of this one), Ray for taking care of the Chexits on the first level, Brandon for taking care of the employee entrance the second time around and last, but. . .well, yes least, the construction employees who snipped and dusted their way into the ear piercing howl of the fire alarm.